“what is normal anyway?”

blogger, blogging, poems, spoken word, Uncategorized, writer

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I walked around with a smile on my face
When all along I felt like a disgrace
Life had me messed up on so many levels
Everywhere I turned, I saw some more of my devils
I tried so hard to be normal and fit in
But every time I tried, I failed again
Every night I slept, I dreamt another nightmare
By now I shouldn’t be scared
But I’m terrified of what could happen
Sometimes I’m scared of just napping
I had all these things going in my head
Some days I just wished I was dead
I knew it wasn’t the solution
Sometimes the air around here is like pollution
Every breath I breathed in it got harder
While the good memories seem to get further
I know I had you and knew l was pushing you away
I didn’t show it but all I wanted was for you to stay

People don’t understand what I went through
I don’t even think the ones who say so do
Some days I struggled with anxiety and depression
Some days I felt like I’m I was in a compression
I felt so stuck and I felt so alone
The choices I made, I’ll never condone
I make stupid mistakes, Nah, you couldn’t relate
Most people tried too hard, but they didn’t understand
My emotions were like a tightly pulled rubber band
At any moment I could break… I did break
Trust me that was a mistake
Now I take all these pills, to try and be “normal”
But can somebody please tell me… what is normal anyway?

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